The title of a book that a friend had recently mentioned had, for several days, been repeating itself inside of my head, like some sort of mantra. Surprised By Joy, by C S Lewis.
Surprised By Joy….. And by chance I had also been reading another little book on the subject of ‘addiction to awe’, the suggestion being that it might serve the reader well to give it a go.
I confess to being one such addict myself, and in addition to that, I am a serial daydreamer, possibly as a way of extracting myself, albeit partially, from the starkness of our man made ‘reality’.
Most recently I had come reeling out of our holiday apartment and onto the beach, deeply disturbed by the morning’s barrage of ugly media news that had lodged itself deep inside of me.
And on that beach I came upon a tiny rock pool, teeming with countless tiny creatures living in peace with the world and with each other, and calling me to Awe. And it distressed me to find myself unable to reconcile the two starkly contrasting realities……and so I confess to shedding the odd tear into that little pool of Awe.
I have discovered that I cannot do outrage for very long at all now. Perhaps it is a second stage of life thing, because otherwise, where now the warrior/activist spirit of former years???
And I am left to ponder whether the better thing is to be at peace with my most recent state of being, and leave my baton for the next generation…..or perhaps to accept the probability that mine is no longer of relevance, as the batons of this generation seem to me to be so foreign to that one that I have mislaid somewhere along the way….